tranSpirit

Gender Diverse with Ashlรฉ Blow, The Dragon King & Bobby Friday

November 24, 2022 Bonnie Violet/Ashlรฉ Blow/The Dragon King/Bobby Friday
tranSpirit
Gender Diverse with Ashlรฉ Blow, The Dragon King & Bobby Friday
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Show Notes Transcript

๐Ÿ‘‘ Drag & Spirituality - Gender Diverse
The Spirit, The Body, The Artist.
Join us in a conversation about all things gender, all things drag & all things spiritual.

LIVE streamed on Saturday June 18th @ 12pm PST
๐Ÿ“บ WATCH LIVE on  YOUTUBE, FACEBOOK or TWITCH @aqueerchaplain or @Glide.

๐Ÿ‘‘ Ashlรฉ Blow.                ๐Ÿ”—  https://www.instagram.com/ashle_blow
"As a non-binary performer who is transitioning later in life. I find this experience to be incredibly spiritual and enlightening. My gender identity presented itself back in 2015, and after fighting against it due to social norms and societal pressure, I surrendered and it changed my life."

๐Ÿ‘‘ Dragon King                  ๐Ÿ”— https://linktr.ee/thedragonking
"I've been a trans enby drag king for almost three years now. I sometimes do talks at high schools focusing on topics like how to do drag, what being a neurodivergent performer is like and how you can thrive doing it, and the intersectionality between trans rights and reproductive rights. Im also a scare actor at the Terror Vault."

๐Ÿ‘‘ Bobby Friday                    ๐Ÿ”— https://linktr.ee/bobbyfriday
"San Francisco based Drag Entertainer, Hostess, show producer and wig artist. Current reigning Grand Duchess of San Francisco, Miss Castro Country Club 2020, and Cal

Engage! Rate, Follow, Subscribe & Share
Book! Keynote, Panel, Guest on Show, Officiate Wedding/Memorial In/Out of Drag
Collaborate! Join Team, Guest, Make a Pitch
Sponsor! Patreon, Support My Work 
Patreon is a membership platform that makes it easy for creators to get paid. 

๐ŸŒ a queer chaplain
Bonnie Violet, is a trans femme genderqueer spiritual drag artist & a digital queer chaplain.

Splintered Grace

Bonnie Violet & Tina Frank

Tina, is a conservative christian woman and Bonnie Violet, a trans gender queer drag queen. While many family members are choosing to no longer speak, we have chosen to sit at the table and engage in difficult conversation to find peace and restoration.

๐ŸŒ https://linktr.ee/aqueerchaplain


๐ŸŒ a queer chaplain
Bonnie Violet, is a trans femme genderqueer spiritual drag artist & a digital queer chaplain.

Support the show

0:09
so
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[Music] do [Music]
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[Laughter]
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[Music]
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[Music]
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first to take you somewhere
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fast enough to pass you
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[Music]
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hello hi there um welcome to dragon spiritual drag and spirituality gender
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diverse my name is bonnie violet i am a queer chaplain i am trans fan genderqueer spiritual
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drag artist i use she her pronouns um and i'm super stoked and excited for you
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all to be here um we are going to be joining in a conversation with three other drag
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artists where we are going to engage in conversation around drag and
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spirituality amongst so many other things you'll hear about gender and sexuality and
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who knows what we're going to talk about but it's going to be great i want to take a second to thank
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our sponsor this evening which is glide church and the glide pride team a big shout out to
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them for hosting us um and and uh supporting this event happening again um
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i believe this is the third year third or fourth year um that we've collaborated to put on a dragon
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spirituality event and we are um so glad that you all could join us this evening
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um also i wanted to give a shout out to um for a queer chaplain um
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uh yeah a queer chaplain i wanted to just thank um our patreon
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members patreon is a way in which people contribute on a monthly basis um to
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support um the work of a queer chaplain which a queer chaplain programming is is
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conversations around dragon spirituality around trans being trans and spirituality
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we also are putting on a spiritual drag conference later this year in october that's going
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to take place in chicago and there's lots of other great things that a queer chaplain is working on um
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over the next few months so check out um aquarechaplan.org to learn more about the queer chaplain
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and to get connected with the patreon um in the bottom in the ticker you can also see a thank you to everyone i'm not
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going to go out and thank everyone out loud at the moment uh just because we have a robust conversation have uh to
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have and i have three artists that are chomping at the bit uh to get in here so
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um the first artist i would like to uh bring to the to the stage is ashley blow
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ashley blow hey hey how's it going it's going great this lovely saturdays
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it's good to see you awesome so glad that you could join me and i want to also invite the dragon king
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hey how's it going and last but not least bobby friday
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hello hello hello hi everyone hi everyone um so glad that we all could
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be here this um lovely afternoon on a saturday uh in full drag
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well full drag right
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you don't need to see my pants right driver exactly
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um one thing i didn't mention is is that um for audience members we would love for you to engage in this conversation
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as well so feel free whether you're watching us on youtube or facebook or twitch um to just put in the comments
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any questions or comments that you might have and we will engage with them as much as possible also you will notice uh
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the um social media accounts and vimo accounts and paypal accounts of all the drag
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artists so please do engage with those as much as possible you can find them on the screen throughout the
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event as well as you can see them in the description of the video so i think that's enough of the logistics
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let's go ahead and move on with this thing so um i love um so you you are artists
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number 31 32 and 33 um of drag artists that have been
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interviewed um by myself um to talk about spirituality um and i often like to start from the beginning
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so i would love to hear uh just a little bit about um your childhood whatever comes to your mind
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that you feel like you'd like to share um but something from your childhood who would like to go first
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i'll go first all right
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hi everyone i'm ashley blow pronounce they them uh thank you again bonnie
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violet for having this um uh event and having this discussion
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uh you know my childhood it you know it wasn't the greatest but there was some definitely some bright
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spots um that led me to being the performer that i am to today
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and i guess i was just a natural performer when i when i think about my childhood
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i i went to an elementary school in bronx new york
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so that's where sort of religion and spirituality started for me and um
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one of the things i always wanted to do was you know sing in the choir or play music or
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uh or be in a place i was always very animated and wanting attention on me and wanting
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people to look at me and not wanting to not be seen um one of the dumbest things i did as a kid
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to get attention is i wanted everybody to think i had braces so i put aluminum foil on my teeth and
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went to school and told everybody i had braces because i just wanted the attention and i know the teachers must have looked
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at me like what is wrong with this kid um but
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but i you know i uh used to dress up like michael jackson and try to create hair out of yarn a yarn and then
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like a um what do you call it like a headband so i would like staple yarn
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to it and make it hair and do this sort of thing um so fun
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another thing i did again this is in the bronx in the projects is i would sing annie the sun
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will come out tomorrow out the window and i don't know if you're familiar with the bronx and familiar with like the
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housing projects but we all have like these gates on our windows so i'm just
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holding on to the gate singing the sun will come out tomorrow
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i don't know why you did that but anyway you were um but yeah my childhood
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was filled with a lot of performing and joining choral groups and
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performing arts groups and when i got older i joined the chorus i
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started doing drag and and here i am today yeah sounds like you were destined to be
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a drag artist one day i've i've never heard anyone talk about braces like that i when i was little i had a babysitter
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and she had braces and she was like i just thought she was so cute and pretty
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and so like i wanted braces because i thought like that's what would make me pretty right or whatever anyways
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how about you how about you the dragon king um i actually grew up in a house that was
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very resistant to me um doing performance like they they let me um
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let me do bands like i did um alto and barry sacks but that was seen as more like
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just like educational enough that it would still like be useful to me like
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they they really wanted me to go to college my dad grew up dirt poor had to do
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a lot of really difficult stuff just to get an education so i understood where he was coming from
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but he was very resistant to me doing like what little theater i managed to squeeze myself into
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it was very resistant and then i went to college and then i came out
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and then i discovered what drag kings are and then i moved to the bay area so here
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we are um but yeah it was um it was seen as like a distraction doing
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like theater or performance or something like or stuff like that so
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yeah not not all that much in terms of spirituality i my father was raised jewish but then was
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i don't want to say force to become catholic but um when his father
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left my grandmother he was like my grandmother decided okay we're gonna be catholic now
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um because he was jewish and so he grew up catholic sent me to
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catholic school my mother's lutheran um the catholics do not always get along
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super well with lutheran so it's just this like three religions were always mentioned
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and discussed in my household and the like pros and cons and like different
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opinions were always there so i i did at least learn to like think critically about everything but it
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was also sometimes confusing because it's like i don't know it was just it was a lot of
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different identities like kind of mushed in and that's why i really appreciate that with drag i can at least kind of like parse i at
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least parse through the catholic school feelings a little bit um
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and my dad and i don't speak a lot but i would like to talk to him more
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about um his jewish upbringing war and all and all that good stuff
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yeah awesome thank you bobby okay
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um so [Music] i'm like sitting here like listening to
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everything that everybody said and so far i feel like there's just so much that i relate to right i think as like
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queer people and like queer artists we all sort of have these really like similar sort of like stories or at least
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underlying parts of our story right but for me
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um growing up as a kid i think i always
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i always loved performing i always loved uh being center of attention uh i mean
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as long as i can remember and the thing is that i was born in 1983 which just so happens to be the year
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that madonna released her first full studio album and i have been obsessed
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with madonna literally like my entire life like there's like every pivotal
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moment in my life there's a madonna album and a madonna song that like i can think of and i think exactly of that
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time and what was happening um but it started with me like
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i used to watch the like a virgin tour video on repeat every single day and
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just like stuff sheets in the back of my shorts so that i could have a train and perform like a virgin on the coffee
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table i was just always i always just love performing and i always
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i think as as a boy right like growing up and
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you know especially like in the 80s you know i feel like things aren't so much like they are now
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um and we were you know i think very you're and then of course i'm you
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know my dad is latin and mexican and so then there's also that sort of like an expectation of sort of like you're a boy
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and you're supposed to act a certain way but the thing was that i just never really was like interested in that stuff
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like i always wanted to play with barbies and i always like wanted to play dress-up and like i was always
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interested in fashion and beauty and so it was like
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i learned early on to live this sort of like double life
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if you will um because growing up for me in school like
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i think i i started getting called a in the second grade and uh and
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what was funny was that my parents divorced when i was five and so and i like my parents were really great they
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you know i think like every family we had our issues and stuff but you know after my parents divorce we
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moved around a lot and i remember that i always used to have this feeling of like every time i'd move and i'd start at a
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new school it'd be like a reset like and then it would always be that same
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group of boys within five days that would like zero in on something about me
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and then it would like i would just start being bullied again so
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growing up like i always felt really lonely you know i always felt
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uh i always had the sense that like something was like felt like wrong with
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me um but there was also this weird like sort
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of i think that that's where the idea of being creative or being artistic you know like in that in that loneliness and
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trying to find a way to like feel it you know in my fantasy
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it was always grand i was always the most beautiful like shining thing that like you know and and people loved me
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for like who i was and uh and yeah so i think a lot of that sort
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of played into it and as far as like spirituality and that was also really difficult for
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me too because i grew up in a christian household and uh
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you know there's some things about christianity that i think that are really great about love thy neighbor and
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you know uh do unto others and that sort of stuff but then
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i remember it very distinctively actually um i was on a camping trip with
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my parents and my grandparents and we were in utah
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we were at this this water park that was an rv ground and i remember standing in line
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and these two older girls they were like teenage girls i wasn't a teenager yet but i remember standing in line
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and then talking to me and uh asking me like
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oh so what religion are you and then saying like christian and then them very
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like immediately what kind of christian and
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that just put sort of this sort of for me put a like a big wall because i
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already felt that like because i was being bullied and uh
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and i was already this sort of like outcast i already felt like okay well there's
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this place this is my religion this is supposed to be my safe space my spirituality and i'm already then being
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asked well what kind of christian are you that just made me feel like even more disconnected from things
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and honestly it wasn't you know what i went through like this whole thing of like you know
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coming out and finding my tribe and you know my tribe just so happened to be
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the bay area rave scene which it was a great time i was young we
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were having fun but you know i bet that i was also experimenting with a lot of substances and then
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eventually that took over and then i found myself in full-blown drug addiction and
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i really haven't had it was going to rehab and getting sober and
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um sort of being forced to like
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trust in something outside of myself um because
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clearly my way of thinking and my approach to life was no longer working
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for me so i had to just sort of put faith in other people and
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that's sort of where i reconnected with the idea of spirituality and um
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and the truth is that i don't really know what that is i i don't feel like i'm i it's so much of a religious thing
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um because i feel like religion can be a little bit dicey sometimes right because i feel like
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there's this in most religions there's a book you're supposed to like read this book
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and then you have all these people picking and choosing what parts of the book that they're gonna take and like
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what works for them and then pointing the finger at other people and for me it's like
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i'd rather just pick the parts of the book and then like leave it alone and just go about my life and just not be a
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dick just don't be an like you know like just be a good person like
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and you know and for me the idea of spirituality
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really just is being connected to things of people places things around me
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you know yeah yeah so yeah so i i feel like i went off on a
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tangent which is probably oh it's perfect no it's really great it leads us right into um a question that we have from the
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audience um i think really well you kind of already answered the question a little bit um so we can pose it to the
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other two but the question is from amy amy says how do you connect to your faith
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during dark times uh do you use faith to help you through pain physical or mental
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and uh mark if you could put it up on the screen that would be great or i'm sorry lb
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we we have some lovely tech folks uh mark and lb are helping us out so you can uh so you all can see the question
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again up here um but would either of you like to answer that question
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and we're going right into the faith conversation that's a good question yes
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i'll start i i think uh for you know for a long time i had a very tough relationship with
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uh religion and spirituality because of the way i was brought up i was brought up in a um
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in a uh pentecostal household so everything was fire and brimstone and and you're going
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to hell and you're a terrible person so for a while i really rejected religion and i rejected spirituality and uh
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didn't want to have anything to do with it and i could tell during that time that's when sort of the
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light went out inside of me and i just sort of went down this dark spiral and um into heavy drinking and
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drugs and that sort of thing because i wasn't connected you know because i let my past and my childhood and my
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experience um affect how i how i felt and how i
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existed in life um but there was always something whenever there were dark times i was
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always looking to a higher power and i didn't want to admit to myself that i was looking
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for into a higher power to get me out of what i was in
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so a lot of times music for me is a way to get through the
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dark times and it's it's spiritual music and it's music that's kind of controversial especially in the
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lgbtq community because it's it's christian music i appreciate
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christian music and christianity for the message that that it's that it's trying to send but it might not be sending
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correctly um especially when you get to fire and brimstone going to hell and that sort of
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thing but the beautiful things that come out of it like loving one another and loving yourself and um you know
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connecting with uh something that's uh that's greater than yourself i love that like it brings
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me joy and it gives me hope so one of the things i listen to
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to connect with my my faith or the one one of the things i do is uh is connect with music
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um and then when i'm connected with music and i'm connected with my higher power and i'm being my most authentic
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self which is through performing um that that gets me through if i'm not
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performing or if i'm not existing in a space where i can express myself that's when uh things go dark so i try to again
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listen to music to get me out of that and also um do things that connect me with my higher
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power which to me is through art and performance thank you
22:44
dragon king yeah um sorry allergies um
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i through the process of going through the catholic school system through um
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um growing up with jewish relatives growing up with lutheran
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relatives um i am a baptized lutheran and
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i wouldn't be i don't go to church and i'm still trying to figure out like
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if i even want to like identify under a specific religion
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but the thing that um i do believe in the soul like i do believe that like
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that um imprints of ourselves linger i live in a very haunted house so
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i'm very convinced of this um this is a this used to be a convent this is over 100 years old the nuns get feisty
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sometimes um and because of that it's like okay there is a soul i can at least believe that
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there is some higher power and i wish i could remember the name of this ruler um
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but i'm reminded of um it was like a clip of a muslim ruler
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speaking to a christian um and it was basically him saying like you
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see this torn tapestry there are many holes and the sunlight shines through
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in different ways your god is a just different shining of the same light
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and that is what i most believe and that is what i take the most comfort in that like
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i don't believe in specific religions going to hell because they don't follow the same
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practice i just try to be as kind to everyone as humanly possible and
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hope that that there is some higher power that there is that my beliefs on the soul are correct and
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then just that we can just try our best to be kind
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to one another and that's what i try to hold with me when it when things do get dark and things get
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scary in the in the outside world yeah i think for myself i think that
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that's one of the things that i've always found so frustrating about
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religion in general especially as someone who grew up being like bullied for being different you know
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you're just like it's just that idea of like oh my religion's the only right religion and
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if you're not like falling in line with that and you're not doing what my religion tells you to do then you're
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going to hell like first of all like that just like
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when you look at like the underlying messages of a lot of different religions a lot of them are very similar
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you know so it's sort of like okay well if there's all these underlying messages that are very similar well who's to say
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is the right one versus the wrong one i think it's just um
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yeah like i think there's this like underlying message of like be a good person and try and like
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like you know ultimately you're responsible for your own life the good and the bad
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and so like it's all about how you approach that or what what side if you choose to live in a
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negative way and put naked negativity out into the world and most likely that's what's going to come back to you
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or you know vice versa and uh
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so this honestly for me sometimes i get like
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i don't know if i necessarily believe in this whole idea of like heaven or hell and that like however we choose to live
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here is like determines where we're gonna go in that next part like the reality is it's not like
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i don't know like and i think that most people don't know but what i do know is that in certain
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parts of my life it definitely felt like i was living in hell right
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like and so if i change the way that i i go through my life if i change what
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i'm putting out into the world if i change my perspective on things if i work on changing myself
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then all of a sudden i can find my like what i found is especially like through performance and that sort of stuff that
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like sometimes i can access that like heaven on earth sometimes i'm in that place where things feel really really
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good and it's like bliss and so for me i just like focus on trying to be present in
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the moment rather than thinking about what's gonna happen when i'm dead because
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i'm not there i don't know i i agree if i can add to that um both
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with what the dragon king said and and bobby friday uh make very good points i don't i someone asked a
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question about do you um you know subscribe to a specific religion i absolutely don't and i think for me and
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in my opinion um i'm sort of group a verse anyway because i think what happens is
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we have all these different religions around the world everyone thinks they're right and and what happens in that is if
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you don't follow that particular religion then all those different groups start fighting each other because you're
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not doing what they think you're supposed to be doing i think not following
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um religion and being a free people as we are we're free to exist we're free to practice
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religion and we're free not to practice religion for me it's very freeing not to
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practice a religion but to find my own path to connect to my higher power as i
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see that higher power and through that it's it's living it's performing it's connecting with people
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it's connecting with our environment it's trying to just be a good person
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without telling other people well if you don't do it my way then you're doing it wrong
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yeah uh robert in the comments says take what take what works and screw the rest
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a lot of a lot of what we heard um there was also a comment from uh angel
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um aka linda summers who said uh through prayer and meditation who answered the
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question that you all were posed through prayer and meditation but knowing that sometimes i might not get the answers
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that i want but understanding that the effort that goes into prayer and meditation is
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is tapping into that power that's pure love and forgiving um just a quick question do do any of
29:34
you have um how what the question is how do you connect you talked a little bit
29:39
about it but do you do prayer do you do meditation do you have ways of connecting with
29:45
either yourself or that which is outside of me outside of me outside of you um
29:53
that you would like to share um i know we heard a little bit like ashley talked a lot about music and you know things
29:58
like that but uh does anyone want to talk about the prayer or meditation or i like for me i like i like candles i
30:06
don't know why but for me it's helpful just to light a candle think of somebody that i know i love something that
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they're going through um and and for me that feels a little bit more i don't know it feels right feels right
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for me how about how about you all um well for me i'd like i have a really
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difficult time like sitting still so the idea of like let me just sit here
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and like stew on something or like meditate or try and get in touch with myself it's just sometimes too much i'm
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like you know what i did i'm just going to turn on beverly hills the real housewives of beverly hills and call it night
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well i will be meditating with erica jane over here okay but for me honestly one thing that i have
30:54
found that really works is and this is why i think
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um you know sometimes you know my my sisters and like other performers
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in the community will read me because i like to take my time when i get ready
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when i'm like painting and i'm doing all of this because for me
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it's one of the few times where i feel like um [Music]
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quiet enough to just sort of like get in touch with like what i'm feeling like and
31:31
or or i just find myself in this place where i'm really present in like
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what it is that i'm doing and my mind isn't like going 15 000 different directions at once or i'm not like
31:43
thinking about like oh i need to be this place this place in that place is that every time
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no but i more times than not when i'm putting
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myself into drag there is a form of meditation and a form of like plugging
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in and it's weird because i i think of plugging in uh
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plugging in for me happens when i unplug this right like when i plug my brain
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like from that endless cycle of like just thoughts and like things that i'm
32:18
constantly thinking about when i unplug that and just get into like the moment and where
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what i'm doing that's when i feel like that there's this like sort of meditation happening
32:29
and that's all the sudden when things will become clear for me or uh
32:36
maybe things that i was feeling a certain way about all of a sudden that's resolved or i know the next right thing to do or
32:43
you know things like that so traditional meditation doesn't work for
32:48
me but painting my face does yeah yeah i can relate to that completely i i have a similar experience
32:56
when i'm you know getting on getting in the face and stuff i mean to me creation creating is like such a spiritual thing
33:03
you know giving life to something you know like what's more godly or divine or sacred than that and so i think you know
33:10
you know putting on a face putting on the stones whatever like all of that to me is bringing life um to you
33:16
know to an expression or that sort of thing so i i totally relate to what what you just shared bobby how about um
33:23
dragon king or the dragon king or ashley blow um i can go um
33:29
i have too much anxiety and i am too neurodivergent to do meditation i just i
33:35
i'll i'll get too distracted in my head so what i do is i will um
33:41
the reason i love living in san francisco so much is because i can go on these long ass walks like i've gone
33:47
walking from seven hours in like the darkest times in my life and
33:53
i'll just like i'll have a playlist and sometimes i'll have words and sometimes it won't and the times when it doesn't it's at least like
34:01
enough that i can tune out the rest of the world but like see everything around me and like have that time to like
34:08
think out my life and [Music] figure out what i need and
34:13
i do find painting meditative but honestly the the times when i get like a lot more
34:20
introspective area in the zone is um when i'm working on um accessories or sewing or
34:28
something like that i don't know that's just something about like doing the teeny tiniest little details
34:33
and using gallons of hot glue um for the particular stuff that i work
34:40
on that's just really soothing and really able to just
34:45
kind of recenter myself and re-kind of like realign where i am in the universe and
34:52
it's some of the few times i feel like i can just have that time to myself because i'm
34:59
between doing drag working on multiple then working security and door at
35:05
multiple venues running two event spaces um i there's a lot of
35:11
talking and there's a lot of chatter and it's sometimes very hard not to just like give
35:16
all that i have to everyone else and not take that time to like recenter inside of myself
35:22
so i find like the music the walking the tuning out a good way to kind
35:28
of realign myself awesome yeah i see a lot of similarities between
35:36
um religious and non-religious folks and it comes down to a practice and what
35:42
brings you joy and for a lot of uh religious folks it's it's the sunday church it's um you know seeing their
35:50
friends at church and and going through the traditions and and that sort of thing uh and then for a lot of
35:58
non-religious folks uh speaking for myself in particular i loved going to
36:04
uh my my gaming course rehearsals every monday that was such a spiritual
36:11
experience for me when we would sing together we're fumbling through the music and then when it finally connects
36:17
and we're all connected to this piece of music there's so much joy that comes out of that and it's such a spiritual moment
36:24
so that's a connection uh for me um also i agree with bobby and
36:31
the dragon king you know there's a there's a connection with oneself when you're painting and you're you're living
36:38
in your art space um and then performing you know that's the ultimate connection
36:44
for me if i'm performing a song sometimes i just get lost in the music or get lost in the song
36:50
because i try to do songs that mean something to me and that that's such a spiritual thing you're looking out at
36:56
the audience and you're connecting with the audience and you're feeling that energy and you're just there with
37:02
everybody that's that is like that is church for me i love it
37:09
indeed and might i add that ashley is an incredible performer yes you have not
37:14
seen them perform oh thank you yeah yeah
37:20
and you all speak really beautifully to like in the beginning of like doing dragon spirituality before i ever even
37:26
did drag i was interviewing drag artists because i saw them as our spiritual leaders as somebody who grew up in
37:33
church and jesus and then got hurt and harmed i was really drawn to drag
37:38
artists who were they were kind of doing the work of church um in my mind they were raising money to take care of
37:45
people in the community they were out in community they were like you know visible they were um helping us get in
37:52
touch with uh information and education that we needed or maybe even getting out of
37:57
ourselves and being able to laugh and experience joy or even cry sometimes and to me i just feel like whether or not
38:04
drag artists want to call themselves that or not i think that we are spiritual leaders and that we are
38:10
impacting i think impacting our community in a way that hopefully you know
38:15
preachers and rabbis and monks and other spiritual leaders i hope they're having
38:20
the same impact on their communities as we do within ours um i want to go ahead and take a quick
38:27
uh we're going to go ahead and take a quick quick break and then we'll come back to talk a
38:33
little bit more about drag [Music]
38:49
[Music]
38:56
so [Music]
39:05
so [Music]
39:15
meeting up with the homies was a little different this year but we still found a way to make it work y'all heard y'all
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hoes you could talk you talking out of shame but let me see if you could walk there's so much media being made by our
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where you can find curated podcasts music and other media by bipac and qtpot creators
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the cube is an all-in-one platform where you can find the best media by bipac and qt pop creators right at your fingertips
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it's loaded with features for artists and audiences like being able to tip your favorite creators or being able to
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need your help to get us past the finish line if you want quality curated content in a
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community just for us support thecube [Music]
40:26
uh
40:33
[Music]
40:50
welcome back everyone thanks for that brief little uh break um i also wanted
40:55
to just you know talk to the folks in the comments thank you so much for um engaging in this conversation i know we
41:01
haven't quite been able to put everything up on the screen or engage with you but just know that we are listening
41:07
or reading and we are engaged with you so please continue to um to join us in the conversation
41:13
um i wanted to get a sense from you all if you could talk about like like i know
41:19
like my first favorite drag artist was ivana bump uh i met her in phoenix arizona when i
41:25
was just a wee thing um and i just wanted to hear a little bit maybe about when you were first introduced to drag
41:31
and maybe what your experience was with that
41:37
um my first experience uh with drag i mean
41:47
honestly i i remember being young and watching uh
41:54
the sally jesse raphael show and this was like in the like the early 90s it
42:00
was the reign of the club kid and i just remember like you know these club kids people
42:07
like amanda lepore and people like that like coming on to the show
42:12
and just thinking like seeing them and thinking like that is that is what i want to be like
42:20
that sort of expression of beauty and outrageousness and just like sort of
42:27
i think when i what i really appreciated was the idea that it was so in your face and so unapologetic
42:34
and so uh just beautiful in its own
42:40
way and uh then of course two wong fu came out and i did make my parents drag me i dragged
42:47
my parents to the movie theater like i don't even know eight times to see it and i mean i was just obsessed uh
42:54
so those are my first influences but as far as like first like person that i
42:59
actually met um of course i remember going to
43:05
uh t-shack back when hecklina was still doing that at the stud [Music]
43:10
but the first person that i ever met uh that had an influence on me was this fabulous
43:17
queen and her name was nikki starr and i met her at the uh marlena's which
43:23
was a bar in hayes valley it was around forever it's not there
43:29
anymore but it was a fabulous bar and it's where a lot of like uh members of the imperial
43:36
court and stuff hung out and we're at all the time but nikki was just um
43:42
she was very kind to me and i just remember she had a very larger than life personality that i i really enjoyed so
43:52
awesome ashley or the dragon king um i can go
43:58
um my fir i didn't know that drag kings existed until about college i did know
44:07
that queens existed i actually remember when i was growing up um one of my
44:12
still close friends from high school was in love with peaches christ and um
44:18
i am i'm so sad i didn't get to see her perform live when i was in high school but like you know i knew she was in the
44:24
rocky horror community which i was already obsessed with rocky horror um i knew she did like horror
44:31
type drag and there was just something about that that i i knew that there were um that drag
44:39
queens were a thing and that they were like they would do accentuated femininity but seeing like this person
44:46
with like chopped off titties it just like just scratched an itch in my brain
44:52
and god i if if young me knew that i now do taravault
45:00
with peach's christ like i think i would have i would not have believed that um so she has been a huge influence in
45:08
my life and she's the just warmest best employer i've ever had i'm gonna be
45:13
real like has always been accommodating to my disabilities very lovely in terms of the first drag
45:20
king i had i binged watched videos of spiky van dykey and a few others
45:27
but the first drag king that i actually met in real life is my drag father vera
45:32
um i went to a rebel kings of oakland show and there was just this
45:38
happy ball of energy bouncing around being like hello baby
45:43
angels wow
45:48
i'm gazing i'm gazing i just i such positivity
45:54
ended up being my um trainer for the national lgbt hotline and that's how we really like
46:01
bonded because they were the one who taught me how to be a peer counselor for um
46:07
lgbt people all across the country and like that's how we bonded that's how we started talking more and i am blessed to
46:15
be uh their 13th child oh wow yeah vera is fruitful
46:21
extremely so um and i'm just so like between the like spoopy influences from peaches but just
46:29
positivity and like instilled family goals to
46:35
give back to the community be a positive positive influence and like help as many people as possible
46:42
um and just all the influences from my very extensive drag family has been like
46:49
just this beautiful thing that i i greatly cherish yes vera is amazing
46:58
yes yes ashley yeah um coming out in the 90s
47:06
in new york downtown west village my very best friend and i were walking
47:14
through the village being our young immature selves 16 17 years old
47:20
um seeing drag queens and just sort of like giggling and being
47:26
silly because we didn't understand it all uh it was our first time to the village
47:31
um but after after a couple of trips back we went to a bar in the village called two potato
47:39
where they had uh drag shows very small ball they had drag shows
47:44
and this beautiful tall slender
47:49
queen was performing and she was doing meet me on the moon
47:56
by phyllis hyman and i was so drawn to her she had on this green dress
48:03
and she was just captivating she had a short she had this short bob on
48:08
and i knew there was something different about her but i couldn't figure out what
48:14
it was and obviously i learned years later she was a trans performer
48:20
so she was a black trans performer and as a kid i i just didn't get it but i i
48:26
was so connected with her in that moment and i didn't have the words to describe
48:32
how i was feeling um except now i can just say to me that was a spiritual experience and it was
48:39
something that connected me with her that i was connected with that years later now i
48:45
understand why as a black non-very non-binary performer
48:51
um i i totally get it but it was i would never forget that moment
48:57
it was so beautiful and i think it's it sort of led me on the path that i am
49:03
on today yeah that and that leads me right into
49:09
the next uh topic i'd like for us to talk a little bit about is is gender um
49:15
and talking about either like our gender during the day um and or the gender we
49:21
choose to express um on stage or whatever i know for me i came to
49:27
hold and identify as a trans person uh i think strongly in part because i
49:35
started doing drag i think in doing drag i was able to really find myself and have a place
49:41
in which i could try it on so to speak or try parts of it on um and really begin to find like who
49:49
i i don't know i just a fuller expression of who i'd always wanted to become and
49:54
be but never felt like i was in the right environment or the right situation uh to be able to
50:01
really um even just try or experiment or see i wonder what i
50:07
would look like um and and drag really did that for me how it how has your gender
50:13
been expressed or impacted by drag
50:21
i'll just go okay it's a long story but i'm just going to
50:28
keep it real short um you know again growing up in the 90s and in in the bronx you know
50:35
um being a boy and being perceived as a certain type of boy has currency in the
50:41
gay community and that was taught to me as a very at a very young age and that
50:46
just stuck with me for a very long time so any um any feelings of femininity
50:54
uh um were just suppressed and hidden because
50:59
once the boys saw that then you know that was a turn off you weren't getting any d that night if they you know if
51:05
they saw all that so you know you just kept all that inside um and years later
51:12
you know i i suppressed so much i started going through depression and start trying to figure out like what is going on with me
51:19
um at the same time i was part of the chorus and i was doing a lot of drag and i was
51:24
performing and i was when i was in drag i just felt i was like this just feels
51:30
like me and it's not just like being on stage and performing it's like i see myself
51:37
when i am um you know in hair and makeup like i see the person that i feel like i am on the
51:44
inside um and that just that came out more and more the more i started to do drag
51:52
and i was able to connect with myself and my uh my true self and my authentic
51:58
self through performing and through doing drag so about five years ago i uh you know came
52:05
out as trans and was living uh as a trans woman um and it was very public and and all that
52:11
stuff and then you know something there there was something else that was
52:17
uh that was missing because i felt like i was suppressing another part of myself
52:22
it's like i went from this end all the way to this end and then i realized i don't have to be
52:28
either and that's when i recognized my non-binary identity and
52:34
i can embrace all of myself and all of my identities into one and i don't have to be one or
52:40
the other and being non-binary has brought so much freedom to me there's no pressure to be anything i can exist as i
52:47
want to exist one day you're going to see me looking this way next day you're going to see me looking this way it is
52:53
what it is and if you can't deal with it i don't know what to tell you
52:58
yes
53:04
yeah here i'll go um i identify as trans non-binary um i've
53:11
had like i was i'm afab i've been on testosterone for um
53:18
almost two years now that's crazy um and when i first started doing drag
53:23
before i went on testosterone at all um my king looks were very traditionally masked very like
53:30
honestly pretty similar to this maybe a bit less like jiggle but um
53:35
[Music] but i and i think a lot of kings go through that like i've seen it it's very
53:40
common to see a lot of kings like they'll go for very traditionally mask in the beginning and some will stick with that and do an
53:47
amazing beautiful job and then there'll be others um like me for example who
53:53
yes they'll still have their like traditionally masked looking looks but um
53:59
i've been told some of my looks look very like bearded queen um and i've actually
54:05
debated on do i want like a drag king persona and a drag queen persona but honestly like
54:11
all of that is dragon like dragon's pronouns are they them and
54:16
i i just like i drag kings are my home and i want to
54:21
still have like be a king but i think i should still be able to like
54:27
dragon should still be able to like have a skirt moment or i recently did a look right taped over
54:34
the nipples and just had like giant cherries on the titties so i was like well
54:39
we're just gonna have this moment and um it's been it has been very healing for
54:45
me to like be able to feel for the first time like fully comfortable in my masculinity that
54:51
i now that i feel comfortable in masculinity now that i have those days where um i can have my
54:58
more euphoria i feel much more comfortable putting like eye shadow on and lipstick and all these other things
55:05
that for a lot of my younger years i was very resistant to because it never
55:10
felt quite right and i didn't discover i was non-binary until i was about 21.
55:17
so just all of high school and a lot of early college was this like favorite
55:23
i must be a girl i i don't fully feel like a boy so i must be be a girl and just a lot of like
55:30
tearing myself apart but drag has really allowed me to like
55:36
do that gender healing um and be as expressive as i want and i
55:42
really appreciate that bobby uh yeah so for me
55:49
um obviously in drag i identify as she her um
55:58
for me my drag is an expression of this like
56:05
you know it's a very westernized sort of like expression of femininity you know um but
56:12
i think that i i enjoy that because sometimes it can be really extreme you know and uh and
56:20
like i enjoy everything that goes into that even though it can be horribly uncomfortable
56:29
but out outside of drag or when i'm not you know fully done up
56:35
you know it's really weird because growing up i never really
56:41
i mean i felt like a boy like physically right like when i'm looking at like this
56:49
you know genitalia signed a birth sort of like thing and you know but
56:55
like in another sense i never really connected to being a
57:00
quote on quote like what males supposed to be like that macho
57:06
sort of sports loving like all that stuff that like was drilled into my head as a kid of like this is
57:14
what society says you're supposed to be if you're a boy right um
57:20
i never identified with with that either and then there was a phase during my my
57:26
like kind of maybe teens into like my early 20s were
57:32
um i really started i i was totally obsessed with everything 80s and new
57:38
wave and goth and i think that the reason why i was so drawn to
57:44
those subcultures in particular was that what i what i noticed was that a lot of
57:50
the men were playing with femininity and wearing
57:56
makeup and long hair and quote unquote women's clothes and i think that that's
58:01
what attracted to me to all of that was that that was felt like something that was
58:06
very natural for me to do so i always sort of had this like androgynous very
58:12
gender bendy approach to like my self-expression
58:18
and the thing was is that there wasn't the term non-binary really wasn't around yet
58:24
or at least i hadn't heard it and especially not in terms of how we hear it now like and
58:32
and so the first time that i ever really had like some um
58:38
had an idea of what to call maybe what i was was that i was talking to someone
58:44
and they like brought up the whole idea of being two-spirited which is like native american sort of beliefs
58:51
that they believe in two-spirit people and that sort of like clicked for me
58:57
but very much like ashley was talking about earlier you know i found myself in
59:03
in a particular community of gay men and it was very much uh
59:10
femininity was sort of frowned upon if you wanted to get the d
59:17
so you know i have to i had to put her back in the closet leave her in the closet again back in
59:24
the closet and uh that's sort of you know and then being as masculine as
59:31
i can right then i started performing in drag a little over four years ago and
59:39
and it's been really interesting because actually i i was having a conversation with my partner a couple weeks ago
59:47
and i was talking them to them about the fact that you know
59:52
i think that i really identify as non-binary like
59:58
i don't think that there's necessarily a and maybe this is i and you guys can you
1:00:05
feel free to correct me if i'm wrong or this isn't right but like i don't necessarily feel for myself that there
1:00:12
is a trans component to maybe me being non-binary like i feel perfectly
1:00:19
comfortable in this in my body i feel like everything is the way that it is
1:00:24
supposed to be but i just don't really feel bound by like gender roles
1:00:31
in order to express myself so when i get up in full drag i'm a she and i'm like you know super hyper
1:00:38
feminine but then i mean i have sometimes where i'm just like going to the gym in a trucker hat
1:00:43
and jersey shorts and like you know mobbing around with a full beard and that's fine too right
1:00:50
um i just don't feel bound by like these ideas of like gender and like
1:00:56
specific roles or ways that we're supposed to present um and so in that way i feel like
1:01:04
i'm non-binary but i think that that has been one of the things that's been fun for me is that i feel like
1:01:11
i'm in community where i'm in a safe space to sort of like explore that
1:01:16
and i'm encouraged to explore that and i have a lot of people around me who can i can talk to you about it and
1:01:24
you know hear what they have to say and that's why conversations like this are so good
1:01:29
this is actually the first time in a public forum that i've ever really like admitted that like that i
1:01:35
feel that way so thank you like and then i look forward
1:01:41
to just figuring it out yeah or not figuring it out i think that's the beauty of it is that like you know
1:01:47
ashley and dragon were saying like i don't necessarily have to i can just
1:01:53
be happy and exist and have whatever that looks like yes yes thank you all so much for
1:02:00
answering that question around gender and it brings up a great question from the
1:02:05
comments cameron asked what advice or encouraging words would you give a young individual
1:02:13
trying to understand the gift of being gender fluid and working hard to ensure
1:02:18
their faith internally supports the feeling i know for me my transness is a direct
1:02:24
result of my spirituality but maybe some of you all could could share some of your experience uh ashley
1:02:30
your dragon um [Music] yeah it's
1:02:37
i'll go it's uh um you know it's i you know i won't lie
1:02:43
it's it's hard because there's a lot of uh stress and confusion when you're
1:02:48
trying to figure yourself out especially because our society just wants you to
1:02:54
you know pick a side and stick to it and it's not as simple as that for me
1:03:00
um i think exploring gender is the most spiritual thing you can do for yourself
1:03:06
um because at the end of it all you uh you figure it out and you you really know yourself and maybe you'll make a
1:03:12
mistake over here or maybe you'll go too far and uh to be blunt when i you know when i had
1:03:18
top surgery i was like ooh nope that's not what i really wanted to do and you know i had to admit to myself i was like
1:03:25
that's not really exactly where i wanted to go but you have i would say take your time
1:03:33
really connect with yourself try to figure it out you might not get it right the first
1:03:38
time talk to someone professionally if you can along
1:03:44
with um a doctor but i i think going on the journey
1:03:50
is definitely worth it and at the end you might realize i didn't need any of that or you might
1:03:56
realize and connect with who you truly are yeah thanks ashley
1:04:03
yeah and um [Music] for like like i mentioned earlier i
1:04:10
volunteer for the national lgbt hotline and i get a lot of calls i can't discuss
1:04:15
any of the details of the calls because confidentiality but like it's a lot of young trans people
1:04:22
and you know we have we have chat rooms where they can like talk to other young trans people um we have a glossary where
1:04:29
you can go over like every single definition and the the main thing i try to
1:04:34
tell them is like it's okay to not have everything figured out right now and to be as kind to yourself
1:04:42
as humanly possible like i um like
1:04:48
trigger warning um like self-harm when i was figuring i was non-binary but
1:04:55
i was like well and i didn't fully understand that like for me personally i'm somewhere between
1:05:01
like like no gender and matt very masculine
1:05:06
um but the people i had like dated before which unfortunately were a lot of straight men
1:05:12
um i felt like no one would ever love me again so um i did attempt to
1:05:20
end it um when i was about 23
1:05:25
and i didn't have these resources i didn't know it was fully going on with me
1:05:32
so i would just finding your local community whether that be
1:05:38
your national lgbt center whether it be a hotline whether it be anything at all just
1:05:45
the the real soul killer is feeling alone
1:05:51
and making sure that during your journey you're like you're not completely isolated i think
1:05:57
is a very important step and that's why like current events make me like very worried about trans
1:06:04
youth because like i i just don't want them to feel alone or
1:06:10
isolated because that's the hardest thing is like you're trying to figure out yourself but you feel supported
1:06:17
so i would just recommend like um finding that community whether it be
1:06:22
online in person what have you like that's just really vital to like your spiritual
1:06:28
health i think yeah very well said thank you so much
1:06:34
for sharing that both of you um so we are um
1:06:40
rounding up to about the last 10 minutes or so of our time here and so i wanted to give
1:06:48
everyone an opportunity to speak to something that maybe you had
1:06:54
anticipated you would talk about before today that we haven't got got to or maybe something's come up for you that
1:07:01
you would like to share or maybe reiterate um after having this conversation today
1:07:08
um does anything come to mind for anyone um
1:07:15
well i i i just want to thank everybody who's
1:07:20
here for you know being so open and vulnerable and
1:07:26
i feel like definitely dragon and ashley and bonnie i there's
1:07:31
so much that i like i feel like connected to you all now because in in the sense that i relate to so many
1:07:38
different things that you said and ours like i said our experiences are very similar but
1:07:44
i think for me sort of piggybacking off of what a
1:07:51
dragon just said and reading some of the things that are in the chat um
1:07:57
you know this is why things like pride month um
1:08:04
are so important um and it goes back to like what we do as
1:08:11
entertainers um drag artists as performers as
1:08:18
uh volunteers in in our community um
1:08:23
you know like i'm the reigning grand duchess of san francisco the reason why i do those things and the reason why
1:08:30
i'm i'm visible is so that other people
1:08:36
who feel alone can see me and see that like i exist and that i'm
1:08:42
here and that if i'm here and i'm existing then that means that they can too
1:08:48
and uh and that's what like to me is like i always feel like pride is so
1:08:53
important and it's so important especially for like the young kids the youth because i remember
1:08:59
growing up i felt so alone i felt so isolated then that was because there
1:09:05
wasn't i didn't see anybody who was like me you
1:09:10
know and um so yeah so i just
1:09:15
my thing for pride month this month is just like inspiring everybody to live louder live prouder and be bolder and
1:09:23
shine brighter you know every day so that people know that we're here we exist and they can
1:09:30
too yes very well said very well said
1:09:36
ashley or dragon um i can go i i was just gonna um
1:09:44
just based on the last thing i talked about just wanted to quickly plug
1:09:49
the the first the national lgbt hotline there's a website it has the phone number um
1:09:57
www.lgbthotline.org there is no age limit you do not have to be in full blown like
1:10:02
crisis mode to call like we if you're just confused you have questions if you're like feeling
1:10:08
isolated especially for the youth like please please call and if you want to volunteer
1:10:13
we need volunteers always always and forever and also the
1:10:19
trans clinic the trans clinique it's a it's a website it's the first fully
1:10:25
online trans health group um it's trans owned they they can give
1:10:32
you online consultations i'll help you get your medication um i'm doing a show with them next
1:10:38
tuesday for their trans tuesdays and yeah they're really lovely group i just wanted to
1:10:46
mention those thanks so much and um and and everyone yeah everyone's contact information
1:10:52
their socials are in the descriptions or you're seeing them post in the comments so feel free to reach out directly to
1:10:58
any of the artists and they can get you connected ashley
1:11:03
um just the one thing i learned through this journey of self exploration is to
1:11:10
uh is to love yourself loving yourself sometimes comes with
1:11:16
sacrifices especially if that means some type of
1:11:21
gender exploration it won't be easy sometimes you lose
1:11:29
things that you uh love and that's mainly the attention of certain
1:11:34
um certain spots of the lgbtq community sometimes you just don't fit into those
1:11:40
spaces anymore so you know the it's just a different experience but
1:11:46
it is the most spiritual and the most connecting thing that i did for myself
1:11:52
was to love myself to accept myself to live the most authentic
1:11:58
um uh way that i possibly could
1:12:03
and accept anything that that comes with that um but again live authentically live your
1:12:11
truth and then those people that do come into your life or you're going to show them your most authentic self and you're
1:12:16
going to have true connections with people awesome great thank you so much um
1:12:22
big thank you to ashley blow the dragon king bobby friday
1:12:28
all the questions um and comments in the comment section thank you so much for being so engaged in our conversation
1:12:35
today i know we covered a lot of a lot of bases you know we started out
1:12:40
talking about our childhoods we talked about gender we talked about drag and we talked about spirituality i think we
1:12:47
really covered a lot of a lot of ground today and i really thank you all for
1:12:52
being so um willing to share a part of yourself with us here today because
1:12:58
you know it's it's it's not something that you have to do um and i think it's just i feel very
1:13:04
honored that you're willing to say yes you're willing to show up today and you're willing to share yourself with me
1:13:10
and with our audience and those who will come across this interview uh at a later date um i
1:13:18
did want to take a moment just to invite folks if they did enjoy this conversation today um on dragon
1:13:24
spirituality wherever you're coming across this if you're watching us live put it in the comments if you're
1:13:29
watching us on youtube or twitch or facebook or listening to us on a podcast
1:13:35
please do leave us a message in the con in the comments or in the description um reach out to us our contact information
1:13:41
will live there for forever i'll do my best to keep it um up to date
1:13:47
um so you can try to reach out to us and get connected with us um please share this video or audio with a friend
1:13:56
or another person in your life who you think may benefit um from this conversation
1:14:02
um i wanted to also send a great thank you to glide and the glide pride team i'd like to thank
1:14:09
mark and lb who were our camera and uh our
1:14:14
production team um today thank you so much we couldn't have done it uh as smoothly and as well
1:14:19
without you so thank you so much for showing up for us here today um and
1:14:25
as always if you want to um we did have we did mention some other folks peaches christ uh lotus boy who is uh a sibling
1:14:32
to the dragon king as well as many other 30 other artists um have also had these conversations so if you want to get more
1:14:39
i guess you want to hear more about drag and spirituality um you know check out the podcast or youtube at a queer
1:14:45
chaplain um yeah and i think that's all we need to say maybe we can bring all four of us
1:14:51
up on the stage equally and we can wait hello and goodbye love you and happy pride to everyone
1:14:58
thank you bye [Music]
1:15:17
[Music]
1:15:28
[Applause]
1:15:41
[Music]
1:15:55
inside all that greatness and all of your adventures
1:16:03
you're all alone hold up hold up baby i can't sit beside
1:16:16
[Music] me
1:16:22
[Music]
1:16:54
you