tranSpirit

tranSpirit with Hollywood Texas

June 07, 2021 Bonnie Violet/Hollywood Texas Episode 2
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tranSpirit with Hollywood Texas
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Show Notes Transcript

Hollywood Texas

The Last Mojosexual - a curator of sacred space, an ancestral story teller, and chosen healer of the First Gender: indigenous intersex, intergender, and interspirit ancestors of the Human Being. They are called on to serve spirit through all that they touch by restoring the long lost language of life itself, known as authentic movement. As an illustrator, drag performer, go-go dancer, sacred intimate and sexual revolutionary, they are determined to dismantle the oppressive structure of the stationary, binary obsessed settler-colonizer illness of the individual ego and return our species to the sacred homeland called community.

Alex Rueda - photographer

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Hosted by B0NNi33 Vi0L3T, a conversation about being trans and spirituality.

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🌐 a queer chaplain
Bonnie Violet, is a trans femme genderqueer spiritual drag artist & a digital queer chaplain.

Splintered Grace

Bonnie Violet & Tina Frank

Tina, is a conservative christian woman and Bonnie Violet, a trans gender queer drag queen. While many family members are choosing to no longer speak, we have chosen to sit at the table and engage in difficult conversation to find peace and restoration.

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🌐 a queer chaplain
Bonnie Violet, is a trans femme genderqueer spiritual drag artist & a digital queer chaplain.

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0:00
language is fun but it's not necessary
0:09
verbal language is what I mean right when I was a kid somebody told me
0:16
that my actions spoke louder than words and I believe that to be true more so
0:23
now today than I could ever understand that to be before and so this is why it action why
0:32
movement why change is so important to me why breath is so important to me is
0:37
because um it is language action
0:44
is you speaking authentically you know
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[Music] hey y'all going it's Bonnie Violet
0:59
um and you are on the trans Spirit podcast and I just wanted to take a moment to say
1:05
um it's National Trans Awareness Month November 2022 and I'm currently working
1:11
on creating a new uh trans Spirit Series where I'll be interviewing 12 trans
1:17
folks from around the globe hopefully um to hear and capture their
1:24
um stories with spirituality and their trans identity that's trans non-binary
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um intersex um basically non-cis gendered folks or
1:36
folks who might be in the trans umbrella I'm kind of open to whatever but I'm
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really curious to understand someone's gender outside of the CIS gender world
1:47
I'm in their experience with spirituality um so I am working on that in the
1:53
meantime I did want to continue putting out some episodes so what I'm going to do is
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um be uploading some of my previous interviews with drag artists who were also trans talking about their spiritual
2:06
experience and other episodes or interviews that I've done that involve
2:11
trans people talking about their spirituality I hope that you enjoy this and I'll keep you posted on the next
2:18
series and uh yeah I'd love to hear from you please rate and review that helps other people find out about the podcast
2:26
um and feel free to engage with the links in the description you can support the work of a queer chaplain and
2:31
transparent by supporting our patreon um just go to go to the links check things out I'm not going to be labor
2:39
this any longer enjoy the podcast love you and uh I see you I feel you I'm so
2:47
glad that you're in the world with me my trans siblings [Music]
2:54
so our guest this evening is Hollywood Texas Hollywood Texas the last Mojo
3:00
sexual is a curator of Sacred Space an ancestral Storyteller and chosen healer
3:06
of the first gender indigenous intersex inter-gender and inter-spirit ancestors
3:13
of the human being they are called on to serve Spirit through all that they touch by restoring
3:19
the long-lost language of life itself known as authentic movements as an
3:26
illustrator drag performer go-go dancer sacred intimate and social revolutionary
3:31
they are determined to dismantle the oppressive structure of the stationary
3:38
binary obsessed settler settler colonizer illness of the individual ego
3:44
and return our species to the sacred Homeland called Community this is
3:51
Hollywood Texas hello
3:57
wow what a wonderful introduction it's almost as if I wrote that myself I know
4:03
it's there's a lot of there that I'm excited that we can talk about the way you you always have such a gift with
4:09
words I've always been Amazed by that thank you thank you so much yes I think
4:16
words are very meaningful to me because they are very impactful and uh I have definitely
4:24
cultivated my true authentic self along the lines of language in in many forms
4:33
awesome well I am so excited about you being here this evening thanks very much so much for for joining us and um I
4:41
usually like to just kind of get right into the conversation and I always like to start with childhood so would you
4:47
like to tell us a little bit about what life was like for you as a child sure thank you yes
4:55
um my childhood was uh very transient actually I was on
5:03
the Move quite a bit as a child I was born in the Bay Area Redwood City and uh this is
5:11
my home I lived here for the first few years of my life my mother remarried into the military
5:17
and I bounced around the United States quite a bit I ended up spending uh some very
5:24
formative years in the state of Texas and I
5:30
um spent a lot of time between Texas and San Francisco Bay area until I finally
5:35
decided to move back here on my own and
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as a child my relationship with Spirit was um similarly strained by I think some of
5:49
the conversations you mentioned earlier which was um a lot of relationships
5:56
that we are told about um
6:02
as far as being queer in any capacity goes um are in fact removed from the ideas we
6:10
have of spirit which um is only for the most part something called religion so
6:17
I I definitely um connected to the religion that I was born into
6:23
um because of the body I was born into is a very spiritual body and
6:29
I connected with that until recently um
6:35
coming to my authenticity I came to my authentic Spirit as well
6:42
um so life as a child for me was actually very lonely I did not make a
6:48
lot of friends um throughout my life I was moving around a lot
6:53
and really had to develop and cultivate a relationship with myself and with my
6:59
imagination and this is where a lot of where all of my
7:05
authenticity has come out of this space that I spend with my time in myself in
7:11
my imagination and I've done that since I was a kid and it's always been a very special place for me
7:18
um I've always been interested in the Arts and drawing and illustration
7:24
so that was a way for me to build a relationship with my imagination and
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maintain that relationship uh throughout my life which for me I know now as a
7:36
relationship with my ancestors um you
7:42
you had mentioned that you're recently your relationship with Spirit or
7:47
understanding with Spirit kind of changed with you coming to know yours I don't know the word the language you use
7:53
so sorry I don't want to like put words in your mouth but you'd mention do you want to talk with us a little bit more about that
7:59
yeah sure um for me my experience of gender my experience of
8:09
sex my experience of sexuality and my experience of sex have all been
8:16
in fact the same experience so for me to process a transition was a
8:25
spiritual Choice a spiritual decision and I got
8:30
there um Lord knows how I got there but that's
8:35
where I got and um I have fully come out of of this
8:42
combined relationship of sexuality actually being spirituality and spirituality actually being
8:48
sexuality so um for me they're one and the same and I could not do one without the other
8:55
um I identify now as a first-gendered human being because this is
9:03
um how my ancestors have guided me to identify they were known as many other things the
9:10
people that I come from were known as many other things but who I am and who I
9:15
am called to be are definitely
9:21
um in the lines of transness as a word and an experience today
9:31
so we could talk more about those ancestors
9:37
too yeah I mean I definitely like for me I love hearing that because for me my
9:43
transness is a direct result of my connection with Creator God whatever it
9:48
is I decide to call it that day but my seeking of that connection with my
9:53
spirit and the soul in the world like my transness is what kind of comes out because of that I love hearing that for
10:00
you as well too but yeah do you want to tell us a little bit more about your ancestors sure yes
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um my ancestors are a very large very ancient group of dead
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and death and the nature of dead and the nature of
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death is actually birth and and rebirth so my ancestors are actually my first
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memory that I have as a child I have a
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very clear distinct memory of a dream a
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vision my experience with it as a child was though a nightmare
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and so the earliest memory I can think of is this uh
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nightmare that I would experience all of the times that I would be ill or sick or
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um overworked in some ways and I
11:06
have a very highly effective immune system so I was sick a lot
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um and so I encountered this nightmare a lot and this nightmare was terrifying it
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was not only a visual experience it was a audible experience it was a sensory
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experience across the board it wasn't just like watching a dream it was very much in my body at the same
11:30
time and a few years ago I was
11:38
witnessing my life crumbling before me essentially um
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I decided to pursue
11:51
an event that had a Healer come and process a certain
11:59
type of ancestral healing and in this course that was
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several days in a row we were instructed and guided towards connecting with our ancestors and when I reached connection
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with my ancestors and began to communicate with them
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um we communicated again beyond words Beyond visuals but the communication between me
12:26
and them was oh here you are
12:32
and their response being yes we've been here the whole time and my response being oh that's good to
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know where where have you been how how could I have known you and
12:46
they told me well you've known Us in the same way that we just did this thing together what we did together was hold
12:53
forgiveness for our ancestors together and so I said
12:59
oh so we've interacted before in this place called forgiveness
13:06
um what does that mean can you show me and they showed me and what I experienced there in that day
13:12
as a full-grown adult was the first memory I had ever had as a human being which was this terrifying nightmare
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um and only then did I see more of what they were showing me and it was very
13:27
scary in that moment but I stayed with it and my ancestors held my hand and said we know you're scared
13:34
um and essentially I just witnessed and was shown all that I needed to know and
13:41
all that I needed to see there in one single solitary moment that has continued to last now for uh
13:48
well over three and a half years so I believe that this is true and going
13:54
strong and there was not one thing to see not one thing to hear or experience but a
14:02
multitude and an endless amount of things and this became this became the
14:09
recultivation of my relationship with my ancestors yeah and so the fear isn't there anymore
14:15
the fear is definitely still there it's in a different place now yeah
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understood yeah the fear of being with them is no longer there the fear of
14:28
experiencing what they have to show me is no longer there
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um but I still definitely encounter a great deal of fear being the person that
14:39
I am called to be today is a very terrifying thing to do for me and I have
14:45
spent a great deal of my life knowing I was being called to do and to
14:51
be something that I was unable to be and wondering when I would be able to become
14:57
this thing that I knew that I was called to be and it was meeting up with my ancestors
15:04
reconnecting with them and them holding my hand through terrifying experiences
15:10
that has given me the strength and still does to this very day and is that is
15:15
that related to the last Mojo sexual yes
15:21
um I am the last Mojo sexual I am the last Mojo sexual because I
15:29
don't believe sexuality is a collective experience in any way I believe
15:34
sexuality is an individual experience and I believe that a lot about what
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we're told is true is actually the truth that has been flipped so
15:45
growing up me and probably yourself and probably
15:50
most people in this country at least have experienced sexuality as something
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that's being defined by another person or who I share my body with right
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I have learned that sexuality for me has nothing to do with any other body so in
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truth I cannot identify as a heterosexual and in truth I cannot identify as a homosexual
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and in truth I cannot identify myself by including any other body and so my
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sex is mine and I have named it Mojo sexual because
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Mojo is a word that um
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other people's ancestors have carried on this country and on this land Mojo
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stems from black lives and their experience with spirit and
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their experience with maintaining their indigeneity and so uh Mojo is a word that connotates
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authenticity and that's what Mojo sexual means for me
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my sexuality is authenticity that is my sex that's my gender that's
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my expression that's my identity about everything it's me it's mine and I'm
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only interested in sharing my life sexually with other people who are
17:24
invested in their own authenticity and are simply looking Beyond
17:31
an opposite body or a same-sex body I reject the notion that there is same-sex
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I reject the notion that there is opposite sex I only believe in authenticity so I
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truly believe every single individual on planet Earth has only ever and will only ever be
17:54
their own sexuality their own gender and their own identity
18:00
but we are only given large groups yeah to identify with yeah yeah I I get
18:07
a sense of that I like most of us won't let ourselves experience it that way
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because we're we're bought into what the world tells us or what somebody else
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told us about what we have to do and how we have to identify and and all of that so using really all this stuff is super
18:25
integrated it's really not about like Parts what was there was there a process
18:30
of becoming whole with all of that or was it something that's kind of always been there for you
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um it's definitely always been there um the first gender is
18:46
something I am called on to be it is a place in a role within community
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and it is a Sacred Space for healing and
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before the binary gender we experienced today was set in place as the um
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only option the first gender um
19:13
was no gender the first gender was Infinity gender
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and so being the first gender is something that I've been called on to do
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and to be since I was born however when I was born I was also
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um challenged to maintain my knowledge and my
19:41
self by the ritual practices of the people I was born into
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and the ritual practices of the people I was born into for the past thousand
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two thousand maybe four to six thousand years now is the ritual practice of
20:01
genital mutilation on infants and this is given a name called
20:08
circumcision it's also given several other names in the native language of the religion that
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um my people are connected to which is Judaism
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um this ritual is in place because of the first gender this ritual is
20:29
a means to make sure the first gender stays too
20:36
terrified to be the first gender and this works on a completely
20:42
mechanical scientific level um and so Not only was I called to be who I
20:49
am I was also challenged to be Who I Am by what I refer to as my enemy
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I think it's a very spiritual and holy thing to have an enemy and I'm very grateful for my enemy I
21:04
hold Sacred Space for my enemy because my enemy has hurt me permanently but my enemy has
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also shown me who I am to my fullest and they have challenged me to come out they
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have challenged me to be me with every step that I take in pure defiance
21:25
of thousands of years of sexual repression against my people are you comfortable
21:34
with talking a little bit more about that enemy is it is it a person is it a
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structure is like how would you define it if you're if you're comfortable with sharing that I would love to tell you
21:46
about my enemy all right my enemy has many names today
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the most trendy word we can refer to my enemy with is called the colonizer
21:58
[Music] the colonizer can also be referred to as the patriarchy
22:04
the colonizer can be referred to as uh
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puritanism is that even a word puritanical
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um so my enemy is very ancient in fact my enemy is almost as ancient as my
22:22
ancestors and um my enemy is is a born response of my
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ancestors um I give my enemy a name
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and that name is called Yahweh and this comes from the Hebrew
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language for one of the many sacred names of God the the Creator
22:49
um so this person is kind of like a real person to
22:55
me because I don't believe we have actually a
23:00
choice in who we believe in
23:07
purely based on our our mind or our heart um I believe we we choose who we believe
23:13
in with our actions and for thousands of years my people have chosen to believe in
23:22
Yahweh with their actions and there's no getting around that
23:29
um the colonizer we know it and today as a in America is simply an evolution and
23:35
an extension of a very ancient entity a very real deity that exists
23:43
and has permeated indigenous cultures the world over
23:52
an unknown amount of time now I don't believe there's more than maybe two or three places on
24:00
Earth that have not been affected by the shared
24:07
path against nature and indigeneity
24:12
as the colonizer who um whose roots are founded in
24:19
Yahweh ISM yeah and that's a very real
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practice that existed around or before the same time as the beginning of
24:30
Judaism um there were many gods one of their names was Yahweh this God became the god
24:39
of the Jewish people and then this God demanded that no other gods exist so
24:46
this was the beginning of Judaism and the end of indigenous
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intergender inter-spiritual and intersexual people
24:58
Not only was it the end of their existence but it was the end of their reverence the first gender
25:06
is a place where intersexual people are revered honored and held sacred for their
25:13
knowledge that resides within their body the same is true for inter-gendered
25:19
people who hold more than one gender in their body or throughout their life
25:25
the same is true for inter-spiritual people who hold several different Spirits
25:30
within their body or throughout their life so are though are those then I guess is
25:38
that then those identities or those individuals are what kind of take on the
25:44
enemy or are here to have it I don't know how to how do they interact with the Enemy
25:52
well we all interact with my enemy yeah um
25:58
we all interact with my enemy um by no choice um they are these actions are infused
26:07
into the society that we live in in the Comforts that bring us
26:13
um Being Human today so um
26:21
there was a time when the human being walked on the earth without a paved Road
26:30
now human beings mostly walk on paved roads and so
26:37
that seems like a very basic illustration but that's gender to me
26:43
and that's expression to me gender and expression are one with how
26:50
each individual person walks the Earth if all we are able to walk on on Earth
26:58
is a covering of the earth and we're never actually walking on the Earth
27:03
and so intersex people walk the earth they walk them however they walk the
27:10
earth however they choose or however they know best inter-gender people the same and inter-spiritual
27:18
people the same it is the being of authenticity
27:23
and the most authentic way to be a person and an
27:28
individual that is the weapon against my enemy my enemy
27:35
has set many things in place to prevent what I call authentic movement
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and to move authentically is a very dangerous thing because of this
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it is dangerous because it is literally unsafe if you think about a road once
27:54
again not only are roads paved but they're lit so if you go off-road you're walking in
28:01
the dark and it's dangerous and you know you can't see where you're going and so
28:08
um in your in your understanding it can can everyone kind of exist as
28:16
one of those enters or is it not not everyone sort of situation
28:22
um yes um I truly know for a fact that every
28:28
single human being on planet Earth is intersex again we are simply prevented from
28:35
knowing that to be true hence the existence of intersex people
28:42
um however it's just true every single body on planet Earth
28:48
forever since the beginning has not only one hormonal
28:56
um definition but several and every human being
29:03
is a combination of at the very least two different Sexes so
29:11
it is my knowledge that every single person is intersexual is intergendered
29:16
and is inter-spiritual however our enemy
29:23
Yahweh prevents us from knowing that to be true therefore
29:29
the reverence and honor of these type of people my type of people your type of
29:37
people is that much more important yeah I I hear that a lot I hear I hear
29:45
you um uh I'm we're going to take like a quick little break and then we'll come
29:51
right back and continue the conversation cool foreign
29:57
[Music]
30:08
[Music]
30:30
hi [Laughter]
30:37
um I folks that are listening um please feel free to um you know send uh questions our way
30:44
um whether you're on Twitch or Facebook or YouTube wherever you're watching us um feel free to send a comment or a
30:50
question one of the questions I had for you Hollywood was what what are what are
30:56
part of your spiritual practices or rituals can you share some of that with us
31:01
sure yes um my spiritual practices all revolve
31:09
around movement and moving authentically this can be
31:15
as very minimal as breath and learning what it means to even
31:22
breathe authentically and this can also kind of look as big as
31:30
something like drag to me when I do drag
31:39
I like to put as much of myself into it as possible to the point where when I'm
31:44
done I I can't breathe I'm exhausted I'm pouring sweat and that is my body moving kind of at
31:53
its Max Capacity which I would liken to maybe the opposite of meditation which
31:58
is where I just sit in my room close my eyes and breathe
32:04
um however I believe they are the same in fact interaction and in interaction
32:10
with my ancestors through my body by moving authentically and
32:17
if you don't or if you don't know about or
32:22
are confused about the term breathing authentically
32:29
I believe that's a great place to start because that's where I started I I started learning about myself
32:37
through breath and so I have an altar at home I sit at it I give my ancestors gifts I
32:47
um I move my body in ways that I am compelled to move my body I write down things that come to my head
32:56
that are in my imagination I draw things that come to my head that are in my imagination
33:02
I pursue dance I pursue performance I
33:09
pursue Physical Therapy um I do a lot of things I engage with my
33:15
body on so many different levels because this is the
33:21
the altar that my ancestors has have given me to communicate with them and so
33:26
I honor that simply by choosing what's most pleasurable for me
33:33
and by choosing what's most pleasurable for me I have cultivated again a very
33:39
strong relationship with my ancestors and
33:45
that looks so many different ways um
33:50
that was my next yeah or it could be something very intense
33:58
um but moving authentically
34:03
for me not only means like a a physical act that I do with my body such as
34:11
a dance but movement to me also means how I move
34:17
throughout the world how I walk down the street how I interact with my neighbors
34:23
with people um movement is also across time and so my
34:29
transition in of itself changing who I am changing how I look changing my
34:35
facial hair changing the way I do my hair change is
34:42
a movement change is moving throughout time
34:48
and change is the most sacred place that you can find the first gender
34:55
mm-hmm what where where do you I guess
35:02
what is it gonna say like where where um I guess what's what's next for you in
35:09
your spirit in your spiritual experience is there I don't know can you talk with me more about kind of what your
35:14
spiritual experience or your overall experience is is developing into or
35:21
yeah sure um I'm very excited to be cultivating my
35:28
authenticity and honoring what comes out of that and what has most recently come
35:34
out of that is my Hands-On practice as a Healer my
35:39
practice as a Healer has stemmed from my profession
35:45
as a professional movement facilitator uh strength coach
35:52
a fitness trainer and this was my way to
36:00
cultivate another relationship with my ancestors through my body and I have been called on to change that
36:08
once again um and so what I'm changing my self into
36:14
now as far as a maybe more professional person
36:20
um is a very tangible healing that
36:26
in this time and in this country is known as Sexual Healing
36:32
and what I have been learning recently is
36:38
more about how I can as a facilitator
36:44
help other people get to know themselves through authentic
36:51
movement and again that can be simply as something like breath
36:56
um a lot of these sessions I had with clients as a fitness trainer were revolved around breath
37:03
and that becomes the first the doorway to anywhere I want to go so that's the
37:11
doorway for anybody that I'm teaching anything
37:16
um however instead of starting with breath and going to fitness and exercise and pumping iron
37:25
I am starting to change my practice into starting with breath and going to
37:31
pleasure and what makes each individual's body
37:37
most pleasurable or most pleasured
37:42
because again I don't believe that any single person is a homosexual and I don't believe that any single person is
37:49
a heterosexual so if I believe that I'm surrounded by a
37:54
bunch of people who are not what they say they are and I am invested in helping and guiding my community Through
38:02
healing I would love everybody to know themselves and knowing
38:09
in Hebrew has connotations of intercourse and sexuality
38:15
and in the Bible knowing was having intercourse with somebody
38:21
because for the first gender they are in fact the same thing my knowledge of me has only come out of
38:31
me pursuing what's most pleasurable for me through breath through self-touch
38:37
through moving throughout the world through moving in Intimate spaces public spaces
38:45
sitting in a chair differently I used to sit in a chair differently now I choose
38:51
to sit in chairs authentically because I believe that for me at least being
38:57
authentic in every single moment and with every single breath
39:02
is what provides me with what I am looking for in the world externally in
39:09
every single case across the board yeah so that's what I'm invested in sharing
39:15
with people and guiding other people towards yeah I desire that type of experience I totally hear what you're
39:21
saying I was curious how because I know language is a big part of
39:27
this and the way the language that you use is is amazing
39:33
how do you how do you I guess for folks who don't speak the language if you will
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like how do you um how do you navigate that um interaction
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with folks who maybe don't understand uh or vice versa right that where the
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language is different laughs language is fun but it's not necessary
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verbal language is what I mean right when I was a kid somebody told me that
40:06
my actions spoke louder than words and I believe that to be true
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more so now today than I could ever understand that to be before
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and so this is why it action why movement why change is so important to
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me why breath is so important to me is because
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um it is language action is you speaking authentically you know
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how how you act how you move we are not only voting for people in
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office and things like that we're voting for everything by every
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act we take every person we shop from every place we give our time and
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attention everything that we eat um all of this is action and all of this
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is a language our actions are our language more so than our words our words are
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simply spells that we task out into the void hoping truth comes back but our actions are Beyond casting
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spells our actions are are writing down the words we write down our own words on
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a page every single time we act and so for me acting authentically has become
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my Prime Focus desire and motivation and the only thing I would love to share
41:40
right and that's that's a universal language it is very Universal yes yeah I
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apologize for my fumbling of the question no no phone books at all yeah
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the only way I could even get to these words that I seem to be so clear with here today was by fumbling for the past
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three or four years when all of these words and feelings
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come to me and I have no idea what they mean or what to do with them I just write them down and I keep writing them
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over and over and over and over and I keep fumbling over and over and over and over
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and then after fumbling and tumbling I'm able to stand and and now I have words
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um but I think even just a few years ago when we first met there was a lot I didn't have words for and it's taken
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many fumbles yeah I was gonna say that when I remember when I first met you I
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was I was I couldn't follow you like I like I was like I was totally into what you were saying but I was like I thought
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I was dead or like I just wasn't like catching up but I hear you clearly today
42:54
like yeah and I think that probably has more to do with me like being open and
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being still and like listening um but I really just appreciate
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um your language and how you how you how you exist not that yeah that might feel
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weird yeah that's perfect that's beautiful how how I exist is my language
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yes I very much mean that and is exactly what I would like to say yeah
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we're we're running we're like right around the 45 minute Mark and I feel like we've touched on a lot of the a lot
43:32
of things but is there something else that you would like to speak about
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um there's a lot that I want to speak about
43:46
but I'll actually bring it back around to what you began with with your definition
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as a Chaplain which I love to hear you say because
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um you included uh
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helping people in a space that surrounds death essentially yeah
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and for me um this has been the the most important
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aspect of knowing myself about connecting with my ancestors about
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choosing to be authentic about looking my fear right in the face and
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continuing forward anyway all of that is motivated by death and
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as a former person with a previous name I came face to face with my own death
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and had to make a decision I could continue
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or I could change and I looked at my own death and I
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decided to change and so cultivating my relationship with my
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ancestors has only ever been going into a place that feels very scary
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death that's a very scary thing right people need help with that we all need help with that
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um but death is a part of life yeah you know
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people can say I'm dying or I'm living people can say
45:30
I'm new or I'm old but any way you want to Define it there's one thing that
45:37
we're all guaranteed and that is death and so the honor the reverence the
45:43
respect the adoration for such a place is not
45:49
something that we are um shown how to do in in many ways and so to have you describe yourself with
45:56
that title as a person who works in that space I definitely really resonate with
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um because that's not a space that the majority of people are encouraged to
46:09
cultivate a relationship with yeah it's it's really interesting too my the thing
46:14
that triggered me to kind of move into that lane was actually a physical death which was interesting but I feel like I
46:21
had more comfort and uh I don't know ability to speak more about like the
46:27
other forms of death that are not in like not in the body and I I totally get
46:32
that I remember right when I had HIV I was diagnosed with HIV and for a long time I was traumatized and it was really
46:39
hard and I was living my life like in a way that I just didn't want to die yeah and I didn't want to like suffer
46:46
before I died and then eventually I was able to change that to where I wanted to
46:52
live and it was like my medication seemed to work better and I seemed to
46:57
get better results even though I was doing the same but because I was able to just change that perspective a little
47:03
bit so that's what I hear I hear you saying when you when you when you were just speaking I was like oh that kind of came to my mind definitely all of that I
47:11
believe intention is potent medicine
47:17
and that when we move through the world without intention we experience lots of
47:24
pain lots of illness lots of suffering not that those things go away without
47:29
intention but our experience with them can be a little bit more I think
47:37
um less subtle or more
47:42
um profound more deep than simply looking at death as death right death is also
47:50
not just death death is also birth and birth is not just birth birth is also death so
47:57
um death is the birth of Life yes exactly um having awareness having intention I
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believe uh is a very magical spiritual thing and does change
48:11
what we're already doing into something more meaningful something more
48:17
purpose-filled what what if what would you like to just
48:22
in in closing what would you what would you what kind of wisdom I mean you've already shared a lot of wisdom but is
48:28
there something uh like a quote with some wisdom or something else you would like to uh speak to us uh before we go
48:35
sure speaking of wisdom a gift that my ancestors have given to
48:42
me is um along the lines of many indigenous peoples core values and beliefs across
48:50
the world and it is a stark and striking difference than the morals and values of
48:58
the colonizer that we experience here today and this can be seen as uh
49:09
foreign of the truth but for me what is most true
49:18
is a phrase that I'll share with you that I repeat to myself almost every single day
49:24
and what I tell myself is strong mind
49:30
wise body and intelligent part
49:35
and I tell myself I have a strong mind I have a wise body and I
49:44
have an intelligent heart and for me that is the foundation of my
49:49
truth my mind is not filled with intellect my mind is not filled with knowledge my mind is filled with
49:57
strength my body is not filled with strength my body is not filled with endurance my
50:05
body is filled with wisdom and my heart is not filled with
50:12
wisdom or knowledge or care even my
50:18
heart is filled with intelligence and so I would love for other people to
50:24
um have that knowledge as well that they can create their own Truth For What is
50:30
the definition of their brain what is the definition of their heart what is the definition of their body
50:36
and feel free to Define absolutely everything authentically one hundred
50:41
percent of the way until that yeah I loved all I loved all
50:47
that I I was here I'm really curious about the intelligent heart could you
50:53
speak more about what the intelligence is I guess
50:58
yes um again indigenous people world over for thousands of years have regarded the
51:05
heart as the center of knowledge and the driving
51:13
difference and separation between indigenous people and the
51:20
colonizer that they experienced was that a person with an intelligent heart
51:27
cannot assume that there is another individual on Earth that does not think
51:33
with their heart and so encountering the colonizer someone who
51:40
Prides and honors the mind and intellect and progress and civility
51:48
for having such an intelligent mind um yeah I think it's pretty safe to say
51:53
that this person's heart is dead yeah
51:59
there's just no way to treat a human being
52:04
with such violence if you're thinking with your heart and so this is why I choose to think
52:11
with my heart why I choose to trust what my heart tells me is because I just
52:16
don't believe knowledge or exists in a brain I don't believe that's
52:21
what my brain is for my brain is not for knowledge my brain is not for intellect
52:27
that's for my heart and choosing my actions choosing my decisions with my heart
52:33
aligns me with my ancestors who have done the same
52:40
as so so so powerful thank you so much I I love hearing it's just yeah thank you
52:47
um how can folks connect with you you can connect with me on all the platforms
52:55
Instagram Facebook Twitter you can also visit my website
53:02
which is www.mojosexual.com
53:08
you can contact me there I would love to be contacted there um there's constantly new information
53:15
coming up about what I'm working on on my website and I will slowly begin to
53:22
crawl out of my own isolation and back into the world through my website so that would be cool but um I'm on
53:30
Instagram a lot and we'll be on my um website even more in the near future
53:36
awesome [Music]
53:41
great episode that was do take some time and rate and review this episode or the
53:47
podcast in general also please do reach out and let me know what you're thinking about the podcast what would you like to
53:54
hear um guests you'd like to see on there are you interested in being involved in some way
54:00
um please do reach out you know right now this is a one-person show and I kind of do this on my own but I am looking to
54:06
really try to increase production and would love to bring on folks who are looking to to be editors or co-hosts or
54:15
guests or in other way involved sponsors in helping to make this podcast just so
54:24
much more uh sparkly and hopefully accessible to more and more people
54:30
please do like seriously like reach out if you're interested you're feeling
54:36
drawn to it this work can feel really isolating alone sometimes and just have having one
54:42
other person with me in some form or fashion really means a lot so thank you so much for listening to the
54:49
podcast and supporting the work of a queer chaplain take care and I love you
54:54
all so dearly bye-bye [Music]