Walk and Talk : It’s been a minute … Hello 2022

It’s been a minute … Hello 2022

Thats a wrap, Bonnie Violet goes live n downtown Boise on the 1st Day of January 2020. Share a bit about being home for the holidays, "accepting love in all it's forms in 2021 and focusing on herself by expressing what and who she needs in order to live her best life. 

xoxo

#trans #walkandtalk #chaplain

Engage! Rate, Follow, Subscribe & Share
Book! Keynote, Panel, Guest on Show, Officiate Wedding/Memorial In/Out of Drag
Collaborate! Join Team, Guest, Make a Pitch
Sponsor! Patreon, 🌐 a queer chaplain
Bonnie Violet, is a trans femme genderqueer spiritual drag artist & a digital queer chaplain.

Transcript

0:04
hello
0:12
let's get started
0:13
it's cold
0:14
out hello
0:16
welcome to
0:18
walk and talk obviously the first of
0:21
2022
0:23
and i haven't done one of these in a
0:24
while so i thought i would like
0:27
just do one like now is just a good time
0:29
as any
0:30
hey angel are you still there i think i
0:32
saw you pop through
0:35
um
0:36
so what to say
0:38
um
0:40
i didn't know if maybe people would pop
0:41
on i don't know i just had a feeling to
0:44
do this today so i decided to pop on
0:46
how's everybody doing this morning
0:48
i'm in boise idaho as you can see
0:50
there's
0:52
snow and it's cold and i have my like
0:55
neon orange hair i was going for peach
0:59
but um
1:01
kind of turned out an electric orange
1:04
but
1:05
um anyway thanks angel loving the hair
1:08
it's quite the hair huh
1:10
it's getting long too but anywho um
1:15
happy new year to folks
1:20
don't want to
1:21
slip on the ice
1:24
so
1:24
um i'm excited for 2022.
1:28
um i'm getting ready to go to chicago um
1:31
that's my next trip um be here probably
1:34
i haven't secured my tickets yet but
1:36
i'll probably be here for
1:39
this week i hope to get out so probably
1:41
just a few more days so if you're
1:43
wanting to see me while i'm in boise
1:44
please do
1:46
hit me up i'd love to see you
1:48
um
1:49
and that fun stuff chicago folks
1:53
i'm coming for you i'm going to be in
1:55
chicago for
1:56
the month of january um
2:00
so again if you're in january you want
2:01
to collab or hang out or whatever that'd
2:03
be cute too
2:05
um this holiday season
2:08
i uh
2:10
i had this like huge desire to be home
2:12
for christmas
2:14
that's something that i haven't
2:17
i haven't felt that pull
2:20
in years to like really like and no
2:22
matter what i just wanted to be home
2:24
home with my parents and my brother and
2:26
my nephews and
2:28
all that sort of stuff which i love them
2:29
and i miss them and i always want to
2:30
spend more time with them but i was just
2:32
feeling a pull that i couldn't deny and
2:35
i had such a great time
2:37
with much of my family
2:40
over the holidays which was really great
2:42
um
2:43
i'm really grateful for that and i'm
2:45
really
2:46
looking forward to um
2:48
continuing to cultivate and strengthen
2:50
my relationship with my family um
2:53
in 2020 in 2021 i really focused on
2:57
accepting love and
2:59
all its forms and
3:03
i think i did pretty well with that this
3:04
year
3:05
um and there was so much that was gained
3:07
for me and being able to
3:09
accept love in all its forms uh
3:12
you know for a long time i
3:14
if love didn't show up in a certain way
3:17
then it meant you didn't love me or
3:19
there wasn't love for me and
3:21
i've learned to
3:23
and in doing that
3:25
i just thought i wasn't loved at all you
3:27
know like i didn't like i didn't have
3:29
any love and that just wasn't true
3:31
i wasn't experiencing love because
3:34
i think you get what i'm trying to say
3:36
it's just like
3:37
i was living a life as if
3:39
with a lot less love
3:41
than what was true and what was really
3:43
around me and what was really accessible
3:46
and what really i could engage with and
3:48
have a relationship with
3:50
in a way in which would
3:52
put a smile on my face and
3:55
um help me feel a little bit better
3:57
about being in the world
3:58
you know it's been a big year with
4:00
transitioning i started hormones you
4:03
know
4:04
um
4:04
i've uh
4:06
changed my name and
4:08
you know just living into
4:11
this part of myself that um i was too
4:14
scared to for so long and
4:17
didn't even realize was in me
4:20
and it's been really
4:21
liberating and i'm feeling myself
4:25
in a way that i haven't
4:27
i don't recall ever not that i've never
4:30
like not done my best to live in my
4:32
truth and be authentic and whole but
4:35
like i'm just coming to see that there
4:36
were parts of myself that
4:39
i couldn't hold and
4:42
for myself um and a lot of times i
4:45
wanted to put that on you or put that on
4:46
everybody else that like
4:48
they couldn't handle this part of me or
4:50
if they knew this part of me then they
4:52
wouldn't love me or like me or
4:54
and that might be true but
4:56
it was more of me projecting my
4:58
onto
4:59
folks so
5:01
in the
5:02
long story short i do feel like i did um
5:07
like i did actually
5:10
began to accept love in all its forms
5:12
and
5:13
i was able to feel love
5:15
well
5:16
i was able to show up for my family um
5:20
i was able to be in my hometown i was
5:22
able to
5:24
be in really uncomfortable situations at
5:26
times with some members of my family and
5:29
and still
5:31
feel the love parts and not let you know
5:35
i think that's something that over the
5:37
years i didn't know how to just
5:40
you know i think
5:41
i'm at a place in my life where i can
5:43
discern
5:44
when somebody isn't loving me in a way
5:46
that i would like versus somebody as
5:48
being abusive or harmful or toxic or
5:51
hurtful
5:53
sometimes it's just like
5:56
they just do it differently than i do
5:58
um
5:59
and uh
6:01
so in 2021
6:03
or 2022
6:05
my big what was i thinking that was my
6:08
my goal for 2022
6:12
a big part of it for me was um
6:15
to kind of focus on me a little bit
6:18
um
6:18
and me in the sense of like how can i
6:23
live more confidently
6:25
um how can i
6:27
stop letting things
6:29
hold me back stop letting me hold myself
6:32
back and a big part of that for me is
6:36
there's ice
6:37
is that um
6:39
i never
6:41
i guess i never
6:43
i never knew like i've never been doing
6:46
it alone in life but i do feel like
6:49
i've lived as if i'm all alone
6:52
and um
6:54
and not always but just overall like
6:58
feeling like oh i'm strong i'm tough i'm
7:01
persevering i have resilience like i'm
7:04
doing these things all by myself because
7:06
oftentimes
7:08
i still felt very alone and i still felt
7:10
like
7:12
i was like
7:13
just on a different plane than everybody
7:15
else in some way whether
7:17
i thought too far ahead or i was just
7:20
out of place or you know like whatever
7:23
um
7:24
sort of thing and
7:26
one of the things i'm really coming to
7:28
be okay with is this idea of need and
7:30
desire and
7:32
i'm tired of living a life in which
7:34
i'm just gonna push through and do well
7:36
and survive and like be okay on my own
7:39
like i want to increase
7:41
my capacity for
7:43
a fuller better
7:45
like life a life that i believe i
7:49
was created for
7:51
um and can be created for and a big part
7:54
of that is recognizing that i need
7:56
like i need you like i need my mother
7:59
and my life
8:00
more than i ever have
8:03
and my father and my loved ones more in
8:06
my life than i ever had because
8:08
i want more from life than
8:12
than what i can get and do on my own
8:15
and uh
8:17
i'm just coming to understand that
8:19
more and more and
8:21
coming to
8:22
let people
8:24
know that i need them
8:27
big part of this journey has been
8:28
letting people
8:29
letting my letting the universe take
8:31
care of me
8:32
letting
8:33
family friends strangers
8:36
um put me up in their house or
8:38
buy me a meal or
8:40
take me to the pharmacy or
8:43
all the things and
8:46
it's been a really great experience to
8:49
just let myself be cared for and to not
8:54
yeah and uh
8:55
and so i'm looking forward even more and
8:58
moving forward in
9:00
focusing on myself in a way
9:03
that um
9:05
that includes you
9:07
and includes
9:10
that recognizes what i need
9:12
in order to
9:14
live the life that uh
9:16
that i want to live
9:17
um that i need to live
9:19
um
9:21
so yeah i'm like uh right in front of
9:23
the capitol building
9:25
that's the idaho state capitol building
9:28
i think it's like seven degrees or
9:30
something out here so it's pretty cold
9:33
but um
9:35
yeah i just wanted to get on here it's
9:36
been a while
9:38
i'd love to hear from you
9:41
um like i said i'm in boise for the next
9:43
week and then chicago for a month after
9:45
that and then i'm open to travel
9:47
wherever so
9:49
invite you to your place
9:51
and i'll come
9:53
um
9:54
and uh yeah so
9:57
what are folks i don't know folks aren't
9:59
talking to me it looks like they're just
10:00
listening maybe here
10:03
uh whatever that's fine
10:08
stay on here for a minute and just
10:10
walk
10:16
hi sam hi scott hi patrick
10:19
hi clayton hi michelle
10:22
hey michelle i'm going to be in chicago
10:23
next week
10:26
love you happy holidays happy new year
10:28
to everyone
10:30
i have a feeling 2022 is gonna be
10:33
really great
10:34
i guess it's only up from here right
10:38
but um
10:40
i figured i'd just walk a little bit
10:41
more you know
10:43
just because i'll walk by like
10:46
um i think most of you guys know this
10:48
but like when i
10:50
so it's actually yeah 10 years ago
10:53
that i moved from boise idaho that i
10:55
moved from here
10:56
to chicago and started my journey away
10:58
from idaho
11:00
and a big part of my identity and part
11:02
of like
11:04
me growing up you know in my 20s was
11:08
running and
11:09
an hiv aids organization
11:11
and um we're going to walk right by that
11:13
it's
11:14
in a new building now it's like 20 years
11:16
old i thought it might be cool to
11:18
catch it in the background but
11:20
it feels like
11:22
many lifetimes ago
11:24
that
11:26
yeah in 10 years it feels like
11:28
i've lived a number of lives
11:32
uh
11:33
there's like lots of weird traffic here
11:36
for a second so
11:38
that's why i'm a little distracted i
11:39
don't want to get hit by a car hi don
11:45
between the ice and the snow and
11:49
the things
11:51
my earbud is coming up
11:54
i switch i think
11:56
i don't know if that's my speaker so
11:58
i'll keep it here um
12:01
i have earbuds i don't know how to use
12:03
them
12:04
she's never had earbuds before
12:08
i know it's sad but um
12:11
we're almost here
12:14
hopefully there's a sign up or something
12:16
so we can at least see
12:18
the name but and then my hands are
12:20
getting cold so i'll probably let you go
12:22
but
12:23
coming up on
12:28
on alpha
12:30
and that's something else that i'm
12:31
really going to try to do this year
12:33
is um
12:36
it's hard to see because it's backwards
12:38
but that's alpha
12:41
and
12:42
yeah
12:43
i don't know what i was gonna say with
12:45
that but um i'm really trying also to
12:47
like
12:48
in 2022 i'm gonna walk with
12:51
my whole self
12:53
a lot of my um
12:57
a lot of my journey the last
13:00
two years has been kind of returning
13:03
going through and doing all the healing
13:05
and
13:06
things that happened in my older life
13:09
and then kind of going down to younger
13:10
and younger and younger not only just
13:12
like
13:13
how i was hurt and harmful what i
13:14
learned and
13:17
the experiences i had really kind of
13:19
like
13:20
i don't know learning and becoming to
13:22
hold all of that
13:24
you know to let go of the it
13:25
doesn't matter
13:26
but to hold on to
13:29
good stuff and
13:31
and to remember the hard stuff you know
13:35
remind myself
13:38
um
13:46
my hands are cold
13:49
it's cold out i'm starting to feel my
13:50
lift
13:52
get a little icy and walk by the flying
13:54
and coffee house which is
13:56
where the first alpha alpha
13:59
safety vh organization that i was
14:01
thought to be
14:03
a part of finding and running for the
14:06
year but you get to have an office in
14:08
this building
14:10
just upstairs above the
14:12
flying coffee house not doing a good job
14:14
of showing you things but
14:17
um
14:18
hi cindy you are you are here with me in
14:21
spirit she says i feel like i'm here i'm
14:23
there i miss you i miss you too
14:27
here's the
14:29
flying fam coffee house
14:31
one of my favorite places on the globe
14:37
i think i'm going to say goodbye
14:40
um take care of cindy
14:48
all right